Sorry about last week... I´ll try to do a quick sum up of the most important things...
Familia Marin. Older couple. Juana and Jacinto (crazy, huh, Mom?!). The way we met them was awesome and I truly thought they were elegidos. He went blind about 7 years ago and sought after God. They are poor poor poor. He sings beautifully... evangelical hymns that are truly quite pretty. Les amaba. We were teaching them and all was well, but when we got to Joseph Smith, we couldn´t even get a word in. They got defensive and said he couldn´t be a prophet because his name isn´t in the Bible. It was tough. There was no way for us to try to explain. At the end, Hermana Jacinto asked us what our true purpose was in being there and I bore my testimony, telling him that all we asked of him was to pray. Pray to find out the will of God and the truth. I started crying. I had never cried in front of investigators in a lesson before. Never. It was heart-breaking. I just saw the closed mindedness of it all.
That same night, we were in a branch activity, when my drunk, street friend that we have talked to a few times showed up. All of the members were a bit caught off guard and surprised. We asked him to come talk to us outside of the church. He basically told us his life story and it was heart breaking, too. I bore my testimony of the Savior. I saw a child of God in front of me, who has dealt with horrible challenges in his life, and somehow (including many choices and actions of his own and others) ended up how and where he is now. He cried. I cried.
The next night, we were with one of my absolutely favorite La Gomera member families. They have been having marriage trouble lately, so I had given them the talk by Pres Monson in Phood meeting, but in a week they still had not read it, so we did with them. We each shared our thoughts. The wife cried, the husband teared up, and I cried.
I just know that the Savior is capable of everything and anything. Only He can truly heal us. Only He can make this life worth living and enduring. I have seen so much pain in these past couple of weeks. So much. I know I can´t fully understand, but I have felt a little bit of it, too. But only Jesus Christ truly knows firsthand what each and every one of us feels, goes through, and thinks.
Needless to say, I cried a bit the week before last. This past week was a bit better, but still with lots of disappointment.
The week previous we invited at least 30 people personally to church in Sipacate, but only 1 of those who we invited came. The attendance was 13. This past week, we invited at least 35 people personally to church in La Gomera, and a few showed up. We have been working so incredibly hard. Waking up extra early, running around like crazy, challenging people to fulfill commitments, so much... but something President Brough talked about in interviews this past Friday was the importance of not just being diligent and obedient, but also having faith and hope. I like to think that I´m a pretty positive person with a bit of faith, but yesterday, I noticed that I was finally allowing all the disappointments, lies, etc. to get to me a bit. I know what I need to work on.
These past few weeks have been ones of sooo much change. I feel like I have lost so much of the fear and hesitation I had before. I´ve come to understand more of ¨many are called, but few are chosen¨ and how it is my duty to find the elect, so we must invite all to come unto Christ. I will not be held responsible if others don´t accept, but I will be held responsible if I don´t invite. I´m opening my mouth more. At times, I feel like I am just condemning people more, after they refuse the light and truth we (try to) give them, but it´s all part of the plan. Yes, God is merciful, but He is also just. He loves us and does everything for us, but at some point, we must realize our nothingness and realize that our part is huge and we have a lot of work today if we truly want to return to live with Him. It´s not just about our happiness, but it´s also about the love and appreciation that we show the Lord. HE wants us to be happy, that only comes through keeping the commandmets, building our faith, action, etc. When we settle for less, we are just condemning ourselves and denying Him.
I am happy. I know I am in the right place doing the best thing. I have a lot to improve, change, and do, but I know that it is all possible.
All my love,
Hermana Marin
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